I'm in a different world.

This past week, I was at my breaking point. I haven't been here in a while and I almost always forget about the downside to the upside I am so used to.

I recently quit my job working at a cosmetology school. The position promised a lot and delivered very little that in addition to working with over fifty self-involved young females (all with really bad haircuts) was too much for me. I quickly started another job at a five floor hibachi/sushi restaurant. Who needs five floors of hibachi? The owner demanded I wear mini skirts even though the other females were wearing long pants. My very first shift was 11 hours long, unpaid. I suffered through inappropriate 'friendly' touching, the manager stole all of my tips and then tried to charge me for free food. When another server said "You ever sleep with a Puerto Rican? They call me Papi" I knew there would be no day two. I mean PAPI? Dude must impregnate a lot of women to get a nickname like that. I quit out of self-respect, I know my worth and I also know I haven't slept with a Puerto Rican who calls himself a Papi Chulo.

So there I was unemployed, desperately searching for a job while still holding out for something better. I have been constantly worrying; I need to pay rent, I need to pay my bills and I need to stop laying in bed sad. In one week, I had lost my relationship, left two jobs, and couldn't pay my car insurance. My bank account nearly drained and contemplating as to whether or not I should let a guy rub my feet for $60 an hour or if I should just walk to the McDonald's down the street and drop some fries. I keep feeling this heavy pain in my chest, and then it dissipates with positive thoughts.

I think of all of the wonderful people I have in my life and I kept smiling in between bouts of sadness. I worked toward filling my head with positive thoughts and my life with positive people. Once I changed my attitude, things started happening. I had one of the weirdest interviews of my life, which involved rapping "Drop it Like it's Hott" in its entirety... I got the job! I also got another job working for a Paleo SkinCare company, thanks to my awesome roommate. And I really want to take a moment to thank Snoop Dogg. From the time I got lost in Oakland following a Snoop Dogg look-a-like for three hours (he had a body guard), to the time I got the attention of a cute boy at a wedding reception, and now to the time that Snoop got me a really cool job! Not to mention, all of the countless car rides with coordinated dance moves...yeah Snoop Dogg, he's so sharp.

I am going to be okay, I am going to be able to pay my rent and my car insurance. I won't have to live off of Ramen and PBRs. I have wonderful people in my life that will be there the next time I fall to my breaking point. And most importantly, I have a better version of myself. I am happy to say that the saying "You are the company you keep" is the truest statement. I have had many negative influences in my life and I have learned from them but when I have taken them out of my life, that is when I strive. And who knows, maybe I will still indulge a fetish and get a nice foot rub or two just to get me by the next couple of weeks. ;)